Fixing us
by Lacey99
Summary: Harm and Mac have some difficulties in their marriage.
1. Chapter 1

Harm and Mac met, fell in love, married.

The characters doesn't belong to me.

Mistakes are mine.

CHAPTER 1

Admiral Chegwidden stepped into Commander Rabb's office. As the lower ranking officer started to stand the Admiral waived him off. For weeks now, ever since the Commander had returned to JAG after spending six months at sea, the Admiral had seen the younger man's sad exterior at the office. The news he was about to deliver would most likely help on the commander's mood, he thought.

"How's the Davidson Article 32 going?"

"Good, sir. Lieutenant Robert's has been doing some great work, and I'm fairly sure that we can avoid a Court Martial, sir," Harm said.

"Good," the Admiral offered one of his barely noticeable smiles. "How are you, Harm. Are you adjusting to life back on land?"

"Yes, sir. I'm more than happy to be back at JAG. And as for me leaving, sir, it was a silly try to get back to a life that I left long ago. I should have realized that my time as a full-time pilot was over the day I had to leave because of my eyesight."

"Sometimes we just hold on to the past too strongly," the Admiral said with understanding. "Have you talked to the Colonel lately?"

Harm hesitated. "I call every day, she hands the phone over to Matthew... I guess I've got some work to do to fix things, sir."

The Admiral couldn't agree more. "You can start today," he said.

Harm looked confused. "Mac's in Europe, sir..."

"I'm short handed here, so I called her back. Her assignment with NATO was nearly at it's end anyway," the Admiral explained. The truth was that he'd brought the Colonel back because he was tired of watching the Commander's misery.

"Well, sir, I'll be glad to have her back. And I'll be glad to have my son around more, sir."

"I thought so. You haven't been quite yourself lately, and you're bringing everyone else at the office down too," the Admiral prepared to leave. "The Colonel will be here within the hour."

Harm watched as his commanding officer left, and a smile formed on his face. After six months of barely seeing his son, he would finally have him back. And as an extra bonus, Mac would be around more too.

"You look happy, sir?" Bud Roberts noticed the smile on the Commander's face as he stepped into his office, and it didn't seem like he'd noticed his presence.

"Bud!" Harm focused on the younger man. "Mac's coming home."

Bud smiled brightly. "That's wonderful news, sir." He too had been worried about the Commander.

"It is," Harm smiled widely. "Six months is a long time."

The Lieutenant didn't point out that he'd brought it on himself, but instead he did what he always did, he made sure the Commander knew that he was there for him. "How are you and the Colonel doing anyway? Before she left..."

"It was chaos," Harm shrugged. "We're just not totally on the same page about me going back to flying."

'Thats an understatement.' Lieutenant Roberts thought. "I'm sure you'll figure something out," he reassured. "Harriet and I are both here if you or the Colonel need help with anything."

"I appreciate that, Bud," Harm said sincerely, knowing that the younger man would always have his back.

"Daddy!"

Harm stood abruptly when the well known voice carried through the bullpen, and hurried out of his office.

"Matthew!"

Matthew Harmon Rabb, the spitting image of his father, jumped into the waiting arms. "It's good to see you Dad."

"You too, buddy," Harm looked towards the door leading to elevators "Where's your mother?"

"I was faster than her," Matthew smiled widely.

Harm saw Mac walk through the doors, and the butterflies in his stomach started swirling around faster. She looked even more beautiful than he remembered he decided.

"Hi, Harm," Mac offered a sweet smile. Despite her anger toward her husband, she had missed him and was happy to see him again.

Harm put Matthew down, and stole a hurried hug from her. "Welcome home." The scent of her made the blood boil in his veins. How he had longed to hold her in his arms.

"Who is this little guy stirring up so much trouble in the bullpen?" the Admiral joined them, happy to see the family gathered again.

"Admiral!" Matthew ran towards Admiral Chegwidden.

The Admiral picked up the kid. "Welcome home," he turned to Mac and Harm. "Welcome home, Colonel."

"Thank you, sir," Mac smiled as the Admiral and Matthew headed for the Admiral's office. "I guess I won't see him anytime soon."

Harm chuckled. "I feel a little forgotten."

"You should have cookies in your desk drawer," Mac teased.

Harm nodded. "So, are you happy to be home?" he headed for his office.

"I am," she followed him. "Is my house still standing?"

Harm closed the door behind him. "It is," he said as he stepped closer to her. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," she said as her eyes met his.

Harm leaned in and kissed her properly, noticing how she first let herself indulge in the kiss, but soon she broke it and stepped away from him.

"It's not that simple, Harm," she touched her lips. "You can't just kiss me as if we didn't part on bad terms."

He nodded. "I know. It's really good to have you home," he hesitated. "So..."

She shrugged. "So..."

"What's new?"

"We've been talking almost every day," she pointed out.

"About Matt, not about life," he argued. "And you've mostly just passed the phone to Matt when I've called."

Her mood darkened. "I just haven't had much to say to you."

"We have to work on that," he kissed her cheek. "I have court now, but..."

The office door opened. "Daddy, look what I got from the Admiral." Matt came into his office and held up a cookie.

"Did you thank the Admiral?" Mac asked.

"Yes," Matt walked over to his father. "I missed you."

Harm picked him up and hugged him. "I missed you too."

Mac stood. "Honey, I'll just talk to the Admiral and then we can go home, okay?"

"Okay," Matt said as Harm put him down. "I'll just stay with Dad."

"Dad has to go to court," Harm bent down and kissed his son's head. "But I'll see you tonight."

Mac left Matthew with Bud, and headed for the Admiral's office. She was glad to be back home, but her issues with Harm was freshly on her mind even though she'd been ignoring them for six months.

"Colonel, I'm happy to have you back. Take the weekend, and I'll see you on Monday. Your office will be ready for you then, and you'll still be my Chief of Staff."

"Thank you, sir," Mac couldn't wait to get back to her work at JAG.

"About you and the Commander. I trust that you can put private matters aside while at work." It was formed as an order.

"Yes, sir," Mac agreed. "That is always our intention."

"Harm's been a little down lately, but I'm sure that will change now that he will have Matthew around more. And you," the Admiral hesitated. "And it's non of my business, but two people who love each other the way you two do, should be able to work things out. It's just an observation, Mac. You're dismissed."

"Yes, sir," Mac turned and left the Admiral's office.

The man was right. Two people who loved each other like they did shouldn't be on opposite sides of the world for six months, barely speaking. But they weren't like everyone else, they were Mac and Harm.

Mac and Harm's house

That night

Harm kissed Matthews head before he silently left his room. He couldn't describe how good it felt to have his son back home. And then there was Mac and how much he hated it when she was mad at him.

"Wow, you didn't have to do all this," he looked around the neat and clean kitchen.

"You made dinner, this was the least I could do," she smiled. "I'm actually getting tired..."

"The night is still young," he said with a slight smile. "We could talk."

"I don't know about that," she shrugged. "We tried that six months ago."

"Mac, all I want is a chance to explain." he reached for her hand. "Please," he pleaded.

"You did explain, but I just can't seem to understand."

"I had to try, you know that," he argued.

She snorted. "You didn't have to do anything, Harm. You just decided, without thinking about me or Matthew, that going back to flying full-time was the right thing to do."

"And I failed," he let go of her hand.

"You came home and the Admiral pinned a medal on your chest, that's hardly failure," she leaned towards the counter. "I'm just so sick of your obsessions."

He stared at her. "I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to be sorry, that's not helpful. God Harm, when will it end? Finding Diane's killer, finding your father, going back to flying. What's next? A case?"

"I'm a good father, I'm a good husband, so what if I get a little sidetracked? Why is it so bad that I go away on assignments? You do the same? You just spent six months in Europe."

"I go where I'm ordered, Harm. That's the difference. I go where I'm ordered, you go wherever you feel like going. And I would have said no to Europe if you hadn't decided to go back to flying. Because I actually care about our marriage," she walked towards the living room.

"You throw that in my face and just walk away?" he hurried after her.

"I'm sleeping in the guest room," she turned to him. "Good night, Harm."

The bedroom door shut, and he was left alone staring at it.

To Be Continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Wednesday night

JAG Headquarters

Harm knocked on Mac's open office door and peaked inside. She offered a half hearted, tired smile.

"I haven't seen you all day?"

"I've been in Norfolk," he explained. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

Mac looked at him with curiosity.

"We have leave coming up, and it's Thanksgiving next week, so I wanted to take you and Matthew to San Diego this weekend and stay over Thanksgiving. My Mom wants to see her grandson, but they can't come here because Frank's brother and his family will be spending Thanksgiving with them."

"I've actually already talked to Trish about that."

"Mom didn't say anything about it," he mumbled. "I'd like to ask you another thing," he hesitated. "Will you have dinner with me on Friday night?"

"We have dinner every night?"

He shook his head. "No, I wasn't talking about a dinner like that. I've already talked to Bud and Harriet about Matthew staying over Friday night. This is an adults only dinner."

She darkened. "I see..."

"Mac, you have to give me a chance here."

"Harm..."

"Come on, Mac, we have to talk about this, and we can't do it when Matthew's around."

She studied him, before she finally nodded. "Fine."

"Great," he prepared to leave before she could change her mind. "I'll pick up Matthew now, and we'll have dinner ready in an hour. Pasta night."

"I'm wrapping up in thirty minutes," she promised.

During dinner Matthew had something to share with them.

"Mom, I liked Brussels, but it's really good to be home," Matt said as he prepared to leave the table.

Mac smiled. "I agree."

"Do you think the military will send you away again? Or Dad?"

"Not at the moment," she pointed to her son's empty plate. "Dishwasher."

Obediently Matthew reached for the plate. "If we go away again, can Dad come?"

"I don't think you'll have to worry about leaving home again soon, honey," Mac reassured without answering the question.

Harm stood and started clearing the table. "I doubt the Admiral will let your Mom leave anytime soon."

Matt closed the dishwasher. "Good. Can I go play now?"

"Sure," Mac stood and started helping Harm clean. "When are we leaving for San Diego?"

"Sunday, 15.30."

"I can't wait to have some leave, it's been ages since I've had a real vacation," she opened the dishwasher and started loading it.

"Maybe we'll leave Matt with the grandparent's and take the boat out. Could be nice with a day of nothing but quiet, and ocean as long as the eye can see," he smirked. "Remember the first time we took the boat out?"

"Harm," she warned.

"What?" he offered a sexy grin. "That was good times."

"It was," she agreed.

"So, you'll come with me?"

She studied him for a moment. "Harm, you can't fix this, us, by trying to seduce me."

"What?" he was confused. "I'm not trying to... Mac, we're married. Come on, you have to forgive me sometime."

"I don't have to do anything. And this is not about forgiving you. You just don't understand anything," she accused before leaving the kitchen and letting him clean up after dinner by himself.

By Friday night Mac was still not talking to him, and she hadn't moved back into their bedroom either. He drove Matthew over to the Robert's house as planned, he made dinner as planned, and he hoped that she would actually join him for dinner.

By 1900 he'd finished setting the table, put out candles and lowered the light. It was truly romantic setting. He could finally hear the front door open and shut, and steps coming his way.

"Hi," she offered as she stepped into the kitchen.

"It's not like you to be late," he said dryly.

"Sorry, got caught up at work," was her flat reply.

"You know, if this is going to work, you'll actually have to make an effort too," he said as he put the fish on the table. "Dinner is served."

She hated that he could make her feel bad about being angry at him, but by being so sweet, he did exactly that. She sat down by the table. "It looks really good."

"Thanks," he sat down across from her. "How was your day?"

"Long," she shrugged. "Yours?"

"Okay."

They were quiet during the whole meal, and Harm wondered if she was ever going to talk to him.

As he put the ice cream in front of her, he sat down on the chair beside her. "You know why I fell in love with you?"

She just shrugged as she focused on the ice cream. He knew her too well. Ice cream always made her feel better, and more ready to forgive whenever she was angry at him. It had been his weapon to make her forgive, ever since they got together.

"Because you're tough, and smart, and beautiful, and I knew that if anyone would be able to put up with me it was you," he said with a smile. "I know I'm difficult to be with, but I just had to use some time to figure out my past."

"I understood the part about Diane. I really understood the part about finding you father. But the flying, Harm, really? I just... I'm just really disappointed."

"What can I do to fix that?"

She eased up a little when she saw the sincerity in his eyes. She was so tired of being angry with him. "Dinner and ice cream worked a little," she joked.

He chuckled. "That good, huh?"

"Very good," she smiled.

He leaned in and kissed her sweetly. "How about it if I say that I'm done with my obsessions? I'll be better at doing what I want to do, instead of doing what I think I have to do. You see, I realized something out there on the ocean." He took a small break before continuing, to make sure he had her full attention. "I realized that it wasn't where I wanted to be, or what I wanted to do."

"You had to leave your family to figure that out?"

"I guess I did," he admitted.

"I don't know about this Harm. It just seems like there's always been a struggle with us," she leaned away from him and crossed her arms in front of her. "I just want it to be easier. Marriage isn't supposed to be so challenging."

"Really? Because when two people with different pasts, and different lives try to make one life together, it's bound to be a few bumps in the road. It's not a perfect love story Mac, it's hard work."

She nodded. "I agree, but we're always arguing about something."

"Not always," he argued. "We have nice moments too. We made a perfect son, and we both want more kids. Sure we have our difference of opinions, but we always have each other's backs."

"I just want a simple life," she smiled. "Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Life isn't simple," he smiled back. "We both know that. Would your life be any easier if I wasn't in it?"

He'd just hit a nerve, and again asked the right question. "I just spent six months away from you, and I hated it," she admitted. "I've really missed you."

"I've missed you too," he touched her cheek. "So how about we make this work? I'll do everything I can possibly do to show you that I love you, that you are what I want."

"Then I will too," she leaned in and kissed him. "God I missed you."

He deepened the kiss and moved his hand down her back, while the other cupped her face. Heath flared between them, he pulled her to her feet and clothes flew. He backed her towards the counter and lifted her up, kissing her deeply. It was fast and desperate, and left them both breathing hard.

"God, you're good at this," she moaned into his ear.

"Sorry about the speed, but it's been over six months..." he kissed down her neck.

"We can do slow later," she slipped off the counter and pulled him with her. "Let's go to bed."

Willingly he followed her, and as they slipped into bed their lust for one another flared again.

To Be Continued...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Harm wasn't stupid, he knew that the passion between them the previous night wouldn't make it all okay. Even though Mac snuggled closer to him when she woke up the next morning, he knew that they had a lot to work on. Mac herself made it even more clearer to him.

"You know I love you, and I really want us to work, but I still have a problem with you going back to flying. It's something we will have to deal with," she said as he let his mouth find its way down her chest.

He stopped what he was doing and looked at her. "I know."

"Harm," she hesitated before continuing; "How would you feel about getting some help?"

"Do you mean therapy?"

"I think it can prove helpful to get someone else's view on our relationship."

Harm sat up as his thoughts went to their neighbors for three years, who'd recently divorced. "Kate and Edward divorced shortly after they started counseling."

"Edward had an affair with their nanny," Mac smiled. "That's not us."

Harm smiled sheepishly. "I guess."

"Let's just try it and see what we think, huh?"

"Okay," he agreed.

"Really?" her surprise was evident.

"You're right, we should get some help," he leaned in and kissed her. "I'm all in."

She kissed him again and got out of bed. "Now I want breakfast, and then I want to start packing."

He offered a cute pout. "I think we should work some more on our relationship."

She only shook her head in amusement and headed for the shower.

La Jolla, California

Tuesday morning

Trish studied her son, as she had done several times the last two days. Harm noticed his mother's look.

"What's up, Mom?"

Trish shrugged. "Nothing."

"I know you're disappointed in me," Harm said.

"I just don't understand you," Trish turned away from her son and took a cleansing breath before focusing on him again. "How could you, Harm? After what happened with your father, how could you make a choice like that?"

"This is between Mac and me, Mom," Harm warned.

"I've spent more time with Mac and Matthew over the past six months than you have, so I think this involves me too." Trish was furious now. "Have you any idea how much you've hurt her?"

"Yes, Mom, I do know that."

"Not once has she complained, but I've seen how hurt she's been. Do you know how lucky you are that she's willing to forgive?"

Harm looked into his mother's eyes. "Mom, can you forgive me?"

Trish nodded. "You're my son, Harm. I need you to know that I love you, and that I'm here for you. Just promise me that you won't hurt her again? She deserves better."

"I know that. I want you to understand how important to me it was to close that chapter of my life," Harm reached for his mother's hand.

"You've always been your father's son," she smiled weakly. "I hope for Mac's sake that Matthew will take after her."

Harm chuckled. "I hope so too."

They both turned when footsteps were heard behind them. "Are you guys coming? Grandpa says that dinner is ready."

"We're coming, Matthew." Trish stood.

Harm stood as well and grabbed his son and lifted him into his arms, before following his mother inside.

Later that night

Harm and Mac's room

Mac looked up from the novel she'd been reading when Harm walked into the room. He offered a shrug as he passed the bed and headed for the bathroom.

Mac put the book down and got off the bed. She walked over to the bathroom and looked at her husband who was busy brushing his teeth.

"Meaning?"

"My Mother is giving me a hard time."

Mac offered a cute pout. "Poor guy, being reprimanded by his mother."

"She's being unfair. Isn't marriage supposed to be about two people?" he mumbled after spitting out the toothpaste.

"Harm, she's just worried. Let her have her feelings."

He gave her a questioning look. "Her feelings?"

Mac smiled warmly. "What did she say to you now?"

"I just overheard her talking to Frank about me." Harm mumbled as he walked past her and into the bedroom.

Mac followed him. "What did she say?"

Harm hesitated. "That with a good role model as Frank around you'd think I would have learned how to be a better husband."

"Honey, I think that you and your Mom need to clear the air." Mac put her arms around her husbands waste and hugged him.

"Do you think I'm a bad husband?" Harm questioned.

Mac looked at him. "When you're focused you're amazing, and then there are the times when your obsessions take over..."

"I'm working on learning how to let go," he mumbled.

"I know you are," she whispered as her mouth found his in a sweet kiss. "I know."

Trish and Frank's house

Thanksgiving night

Harm was busy loading the dishwasher when Trish entered the kitchen with more dirty plates. She put them down in the sink and smiled towards her son.

"Let me take over, and you can go be wit your family," she said and patted Harm's cheek.

"I don't mind helping out, Mom," Harm said as he continued loading the dishwasher.

Trish started helping him. "Mac seems very happy."

Harm let out a sigh. "I'm trying Mom, I really am."

Surprised by her son's obvious annoyance she stopped what she was doing and faced him. "Harm, I'm not criticizing you. I just need you to understand what it means to be a good husband. I've been blessed with Frank."

"What about Dad?" Harm wanted to know.

Trish hesitated. "Harm, I know that your father has been, and probably still are, the person you most look up to. He was a good man."

"But was he a good husband?" Harm asked.

"Before I met Frank I thought that marriage was about giving up your dreams to be what the other wanted you to be. I was so wrong Harm. I loved your father, don't you ever think anything else." Trish warned. "But his mind was on the mission. Always."

"And you felt like he was putting you second?" Harm began to understand what his mother was trying to tell him.

Trish nodded. "There was never any question about my role. I was the wife and the mother."

"But with Frank you got to be more than that," Harm said.

"Yes. He made me believe that I could be anything I wanted. I could be a good mother, a good wife, but also have something that was just mine." Trish smiled warmly. "He would drop everything just to see me happy. He's a successful businessman, but his work never came first. I know you never noticed this, because you weren't paying attention."

"I know how happy you have been. How happy you are," Harm said with a smile.

"Your father missed out on so much, Harm. And not just after he disappeared, but long before that. I know that's how the Military works, but it doesn't have to be like that for ever."

"I know Mom."

Trish hugged her son. "I just want you to realize how fast time passes. You have to cherish every second."

Harm nodded. "I promise you that I will."

"I love you, Harm."

"I love you too mom."

To Be Continued...


	4. Chapter 4

Dr Lisa Montana's office

Monday morning

The office was nice and warm, and Dr. Montana seemed very professional. Harm had pictured a weird person, like all those shrinks on television, but he was pleasantly surprised.

"Please sit down," Lisa smiled warmly after the first introduction. It was a beautiful couple who stood in front of her, and she didn't have to look hard to see the love between them. Their hands entwined, and sharing small looks of love.

"I like to create a comfort zone between me and my patients, so please call me Lisa. I'll refer to you both by first name too."

Mac and Harm nodded.

"Now, let's talk about why we're here. Harm, why don't you start?"

"Well..." he hesitated. It's.. ah..." he looked at Mac for help.

"We've been having some difficulties lately," she helped.

"Yeah," Harm agreed.

"Lisa nodded. "Care to share more?"

"I guess it all started about six months ago," Mac started and looked at her husband.

"I got the news that my eyesight could be fixed, and I had the procedure, which was successful, and then I started the process of returning to a squadron," Harm continued.

"I guess this has to do with your Military career? Ah, you're both lawyers, right?"

"We are, but I started my Military career as a pilot," Harm clarified.

Lisa nodded. "And how did this make you feel?" she asked Mac.

"When he finally told me about it, I was angry," she answered honestly. "I would have liked it better if he told me before he decided so that we could have discussed it."

"Did you go back?" Lisa asked Harm.

"I did."

"How did that make you feel?"

"At first I was happy to be back. My whole life has been about becoming a pilot, and when it was taken away from me I felt empty. It was great to be back on a carrier, being part of a squadron again. But it didn't make me happy," he admitted.

"I'm going to stop you there and let Mac talk a little," Lisa said and focused on Mac. "Where were you while he was at sea? You're stationed here in D.C, right?"

"I was offered a new position in Europe, and since Harm left I decided to take it. Our son and I spent six months in Brussels," Mac said.

"How old is your son?"

"He's four," Harm said proudly.

"Do you want more kids?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah," Mac looked at her husband and smiled.

"We were talking about adding to our family about the same time as I decided to get my eyes fixed," Harm reached for Mac's hand.

Lisa smiled by the look between the couple. "I don't think the problem here is lack of love and respect. It seems there's plenty of that. I'm going to ask both of you to tell me why you fell for the other?"

"She was different than anyone I'd ever met. I can't really explain it, but I pretty much fell in love with her right away," Harm smiled warmly. "At first there was the issue with Diane..."

At this point Lisa wondered who Diane was, and Harm told the whole story.

"That must have been like seeing a ghost?" Lisa said.

Harm nodded. "Yeah, but then I got to know Mac and it wasn't long before I didn't notice the resemblance. There might be a likeness there, but the personality is entirely different."

"Have you ever thought about what would have happened if Diane hadn't died, and you'd met Mac?" Lisa asked.

"Absolutely. And Mac and I have actually talked about that. The way I see it is that I survived losing Diane, but had I lost Mac, I'm sure that I couldn't have lived on." Harm swallowed hard as he fought his feelings. He always had a lump in his throat when he talked about his feelings for his wife.

"And still you chose to leave her for flying?" Lisa questioned.

"I guess I didn't think of the risk of losing her completely, because deep down I think she understands why I made the choice I did," Harm admitted.

"Do you deep down understand?" Lisa asked Mac.

Mac nodded slowly, irritated that she had to admit it. "Yes."

"But still you didn't tell him, you didn't support him. Why?"

"Because I wanted him to chose me," Mac admitted.

Lisa nodded, satisfied with the progress. "Okay, let's talk about JAG. So you worked together?"

"I was assigned to JAG after my Uncle stole the Deceleration of Independence," Mac explained.

"I remember that. That was your Uncle?" Lisa looked surprised. "How long did it take before your first date?"

"About two months. It took some persuasion from my side, since she thought I was a womanizer," Harm answered.

"Why did you fall for him?" Lisa asked Mac.

Mac smiled teasingly. "He was charming, and behind all that macho, flirty attitude he was a true friend," she sobered up. "He was different, and he respected me and my opinions. Like him I can't really explain it, but it felt right to be with him."

Lisa smiled. "Sounds like there's a lot of love here. How's your relationship now? Are you fighting much? Sharing a bed? Having sex?"

"We had some bad days right after I arrived home from Europe," Mac admitted. "But we're still very much in love and have decided to stop fighting and work on fixing what went wrong. We just had a week with Harm's parent's in California, and that allowed us some quality time without our son."

"It was helpful to be able to focus on us for a while," Harm added.

"So I take it there is no intimacy issues?" Lisa questioned.

"Sex has never been a problem," Mac said.

"Yeah, if anything I think it's our safe spot if everything else is bad," Harm agreed.

"Good. Intimacy is important in a relationship, and can go a long way in fixing other problems. I get the impression that your problem is communication, which is also important. We're out of time now, but I want you to think about why you went about it the way you did when you decided to go back to flying, Harm. Mac, think about why you didn't ask him to chose you. Schedule another session with my secretary before you leave."

Harm stood and reached for Mac's hand. "Thanks Doc."

"See you next time," Lisa smiled warmly as she watched them leave.

Later that day

JAG Headquarters

Harm entered the library and found Mac busy in the search of a book. He smiled when she tried to reach a book just out of her reach.

"Please, feel free to just stand there," she said sweetly.

He chuckled. "Let me get that for you."

She watched as he reached for the book and gave it to her. "Thank you."

He just smiled.

"How's your day coming?" she asked.

"Slowly working my way through it. I feel a little undressed after that session we had actually," he admitted.

"I think it was helpful."

"It was, and it got me thinking," he looked around to make sure that no one was around. "Do you think that we are too good at sex, and not that good at communicating?"

"We're not very good at communicating," she agreed.

"At least we're good at something," he mumbled. "Do you like Lisa?"

"I do."

"I'm not sure I'm that comfortable with someone knowing so much about us," he shrugged. "But I guess she's okay."

He looked thoughtful, before he got a wicked look on his face. "It's been a long time since we've made out in the library."

She chuckled. "When have we ever done that?"

"Never, so maybe it's time we started," he said as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

"This could get us into some trouble," she said as the kiss ended.

"So?"

Someone cleansed their throat loudly behind them.

"Admiral!" Harm snapped to attention.

"Sir," Mac blushed.

"It looks like we're getting along better," the Admiral was amused. "The vacation must have worked."

With a small laughter the Admiral left them alone.

"See what you did?" Mac slapped her husbands arm.

"Me? You didn't hear him enter either." Harm said innocently and pulled her close again. "I love you, Mac."

Despite her embarrassment, she had to smile. "I love you too."

To Be Continued...


	5. Chapter 5

Friday night

Mac and Harm's house

"Oh God, yes," Mac moaned.

"Seriously Mac, you're louder now than when we're making love," Harm smiled and continued rubbing her back, trying to ignore the fact that her moaning was making him horny.

"Oh yes, that's it, right there," Mac moaned, not even listening to him.

"What are you guys doing?"

Harm stopped what he was doing and turned to the bedroom door where their son stood. "Hi Matt, what are you doing up so late?"

Mac turned her head towards her son. "Hi honey."

"I'm thirsty," Matthew said.

"I'll get you some water," Harm stood and walked to the master bathroom.

"Come here honey," Mac reached her hand out to him. "Mommy was just getting a massage from Daddy."

"Why?" Matt crawled into bed.

"Because Mommy's shoulders were tense after a long week," Mac started rubbing Matt's shoulders. "It's good right?"

Matt nodded. "It's pretty good."

"Here's your water buddy," Harm came back with water for his son. "Are you getting a massage too? Lucky."

"Maybe if you ask nicely, Mommy will give you a massage too," Matt suggested after he'd finished the water.

"Maybe," Harm ruffled his son's head. "Are you ready for bed?"

Matt yawned. "I don't need help," he got out of bed and headed for the door. "G'night."

Harm smiled as he watched his son leave. "He's getting so big."

"Yeah, and independent. He's always saying; Mommy I can do it myself, I'm a big boy," Mac turned on her stomach

Harm started rubbing her back again. "Maybe we should..."

"Oh yeah, that's it... Right there. God that's good," she moaned.

"That's it," he stopped his massage and pulled the sheet away from her. "I want to moan as well."

She laughed out loud as he started pulling on her shorts. "I don't think you want to do that, Harm."

"Of course I want to get that thing off of you."

She sat up and took a hold of him, flipping him on his back. "Not tonight flyboy. Give it about five days, then you can try again."

He let out a disappointed sound. "The female reproduction cycle really sucks."

"Suck it up, honey," she got out of bed and slipped her t-shirt on. "I'll check on the kid."

The Roberts house

Saturday

Harriet Robert's studied her good friend with a questioning look on her face. Mac had been quiet all day, and now that the kids had had their lunch, and the men had taken them out for ice cream, Harriet decided that enough was enough.

"It's nothing Harriet, I'm fine," Mac assured after Harriet had voiced her concern.

"You and Harm seem to be doing good. It must be so great to be back together again," Harriet said with joy.

Mac nodded thoughtfully. "It's been wonderful. Therapy seems to be working."

"You know, Bud and I went to therapy for a few months. We've never told anyone about it, but it was necessary for us to be able to work through some stuff after he lost his leg." Harriet offered as a reassurance that she knew what Mac was going through.

"I never realized that you and Bud aren't be perfect all the time," Mac admitted. "It's seems so easy for the two of you."

"It's not easy for anyone. After Bud lost his leg, and through his recovery, I was always afraid that he'd get hurt. I was so overprotective it drove him crazy, and he was so focused on getting back to JAG that it drove me crazy. But thankfully somewhere in all the chaos, and with the help of a good therapist we manage to find our way back to what we had." Harriet smiled warmly.

Mac returned the smile. "It's actually amazing that a total stranger can help me understand how my husbands mind is working. And I've realized that what's missing in our marriage is communication. I'm no longer doubting my love for him."

"That must be a wonderful feeling?"

"It really is." Mac studied her hands for a moment. "I just wish I could trust that he won't return to old patterns again."

"You're afraid that he'll find something new to obsess about?" Harriet questioned.

Mac nodded. "It has always been something. Diane, the search of his father, returning to a squadron and so much more."

"Harm truly loves you, Mac. You just have to trust that he's changed." Harriet smiled reassuringly.

"I know," Mac said quietly.

To Be Continued...


	6. Chapter 6

The Patrick Henry

Six weeks later

Harm stared out over the ocean, smelling in the jet fuel, feeling the need to pull nine Gs in a tomcat. He looked at the picture in his hand and smiled. Mac and Matthew were staring back at him. His life was good. Everything had been perfect for weeks, therapy was going great and their relationship was close to perfection.

"Thought I'd find you here Hammer," Lieutenant Commander Mike Wiley, also known as Burner joined Harm.

"Just enjoying the view," Harm turned to Mike. "Not in the air tonight?"

"Just packed my bag, and heading home tomorrow. Emergency leave. My Mom's sick, and I want to be there when she takes her final breath."

"I'm sorry," Harm said sincerely.

"Been waiting for this a while, so it's not surprising, but it's hard," Mike studied Harm. "You've been going around this ship with a dark cloud over you for two days now. Everything okay?"

"Just have a lot on my mind, and I miss my family. I'll be out of here tomorrow though," Harm leaned towards the railing and handed Mike a photo.

"Pretty wife you got there. Way to go, Hammer," Mike slapped Harm's shoulder.

Harm nodded with a smile. "Don't know what I did to deserve her."

Mike handed the photo back to Harm. "Well Hammer, I'll see you around."

"See you," he watched Mike leave before staring at the picture again. He thought about the night before he left for the Patrick Henry, both with frustration and joy. "We really have to start communicating better, baby," he whispered.

Two days earlier

JAG Headquarters

Harm walked out of his office, heading for the coffee pot. It had been a rough morning, his desk filled with files. Reviewing cases wasn't how he wanted to spend his day.

As he walked back to his office he noticed Mac talking to a man in a Commander uniform. They seemed very friendly, smiling and laughing. He got curious and walked over to them.

"Hi, Harm," Mac smiled. "This is Commander Henry Thomas, we met in Brussels. Thom, this is Commander Harmon Rabb."

Harm noticed that she hadn't introduced him as her husband. "Nice to meet you," he said politely.

"Thom is stationed at the Pentagon now," Mac offered.

"I go where I'm needed. But I can't say that I'm sad to be back, working for the SecNav is a challenge I like," Commander Thomas said. "Speaking of the SecNav, I have a meeting with him and the Judge Advocate General. It was great seeing you again, Sarah."

"Yeah, you too."

"We should get together sometime soon. Catch up."

"That would be great," Mac said.

As the Commander left them, Harm gave Mac a curious look. "Sarah?"

"We're friends," Mac shrugged her shoulders. "We worked closely during my stay in Brussels."

I see," Harm followed her to her office. "You've never mentioned him."

"There's a lot of people I haven't mentioned," she responded.

"But you seemed close to this guy?" he knew he was being snide, but seeing Mac so comfortable with the guy sparked his jealousy.

"What is your problem?" she snapped.

"He called you Sarah," Harm snapped back.

"It's my name," she turned away from him. "I'm busy Commander, so if it wasn't anything else?"

He turned and left her office without saying anything else.

Harm and Mac's house

That same night

Harm had just put Matthew to bed and headed back into the living room. Mac was on the couch looking through a file.

"Excuse me for interrupting, but maybe we should talk about today," he suggested and sat down beside her.

"I don't see that there's anything to talk about. A friend talked to me and you freaked out, that's not my problem, but yours."

"I just think it's strange that you haven't mentioned him. You've talked about other people you met while stationed in Brussels," he pointed out.

"What exactly is it that you think I'm hiding?" she questioned.

"You were mad at me, away for six months and everyone has needs..."

"Oh my God, you are incredible!" she snapped.

"It's just a little suspicious that you haven't mentioned this guy," he stood. "Just tell me that you and he didn't... You know."

Mac was furious. "I have never, nor will I ever betray you like that. If you have to know, Thom saved my life and we became good friends. He could relate to being hurt by the person he trusted and loved more than anyone."

"That's not fair," he argued. "I never meant to hurt you."

"And still you did," she pointed out.

"How did he save your life anyway?"

"I was out jogging one morning, and I was attacked by this man. He slammed me into the ground, and I more or less spaced out after my head hit a rock. Thom took the guy out and got me to a Doctor. It was about a month after I got there," she explained calmly.

"And you didn't tell me about this before?" he sat down. "God Mac, you should have told me."

"It was just a small concussion. I was more embarrassed than hurt," she shrugged. "I didn't want you to know."

"Why?"

"You weren't there, and I decided that I could deal with it myself."

"I'm sorry about keeping us apart for six months. You know that, right? That I'm sorry?" he smiled sheepishly. "And I'm sorry about being an ass today."

"I'm really angry," she warned.

"Mac, I'm sorry about accusing you of being unfaithful. I'm just bothered about the six months we were apart. You were angry..."

"You think I'd want to punish you that way?" she shook her head. "I thought we trusted each other?"

"We do," he reached for her hand. "I do trust you."

"You have a strange way of showing it," she responded dryly.

"It's an issue we'll have to deal with in therapy," he teased.

She moved closer to him and touched his face lightly. "I wish everything could be as uncomplicated as when we make love."

"That's a nice thought," he agreed. "Why do we always make everything so difficult?"

"It's just our way of doing things," she kissed him lightly. "You're leaving tomorrow."

"Just for a couple of days."

"Let's leave things simple," she kissed him deeply.

Back at the Patrick Henry

Harm studied the picture one more time before putting it away. He still felt like an idiot, having accused Mac of being unfaithful. Deep down he'd known that he was wrong. Mac wasn't that person, she was as faithful as he was. No matter how angry they were at each other, he always trusted her.

He tried to figure out why he'd reacted the way he had. He kept coming back to the same conclusion over and over again. He had missed out on six months of his wife's life. And their son's life.

In his want to fulfill his own needs, heed forgotten all about their needs. They needed him to make them his first priority.

Out there on the ocean he made a promise to himself.

To Be Continued...


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 4

They were in Lisa's office again, after three weeks without seeing her. Their schedules had been crazy, first with Harm being sent on an investigation on the Patrick Henry, then Mac was sent to San Diego a few days after Harm's return.

Then Matthew had caught the flue, and he'd been keeping them busy both day and night. His high fever and bad cough had caused enough concern to take him to the Doctor, but now he was recovering and would be able to go to day care again withing the next few days.

"You both look tired," Lisa commented.

"It's been a rough period lately," Harm said.

"Works been busy, Matthew has the flu and I think I'm coming down with something too," Mac added.

"I hope you'll recover quickly. I had the flu last week and I'm still not one hundred percent," Lisa smiled warmly. "So, how are things going with you two?"

"Okay, I guess," Harm said.

"I guess there hasn't been much time for us lately," Mac said.

"With both working, and a small child in the house time together can be limited. Are you making an effort to have some quality time even when life is busy?" Lisa asked.

"I think we could do better," Mac answered honestly.

"Yeah, I agree. We do have periods of just existing in the same house, just like I'm sure all couples sometimes have," Harm said.

"Most couples forget that the little things can go a long way in a busy life. Like leaving a note for your partner, or get up an hour earlier to have breakfast together, or have quickie in the shower. Small thing matters in a relationship. You two work in the same building, so maybe have lunch together at least," Lisa suggested.

"We do have lunch together, but most days we're joined by coworkers. It's not that easy to have time to be social, so lunchtime is mostly about that," Harm said.

"And mornings and nights are mostly about Matthew," Mac added. "With our busy schedules I guess we feel like it's wrong to have a babysitter watch him while we go out, because we're away from him so much as it is. In my opinion it's not that we don't see each other, but it's mostly at work, or when we're with our son,"

Harm nodded. "Yeah, we spend a lot of time together, but it's not as a couple."

"And do this arrangement feel like it's working?" Lisa asked.

"The way I see it, we're in the Military and by being stationed in the same building we're luckier than most couples where one or both are in the service. I get to spend time with my best friend, and discuss legal issues with someone whom I consider to be one of the best lawyers in the Military," Harm reached for Mac's hand. "It's how we met, and the stubborn legal weenie is who I fell for."

Mac and Harm shared a sweet look.

"It's refreshing to see two people with so much respect and love for one another. You are both independent, opinionated and stubborn, which seems to come out a lot. Do you feel like you argue respectfully?" Lisa asked.

"We start arguing about one thing, and then we let it escalate into other things," Harm answered honestly.

"We're getting too good at throwing mistakes at each other," Mac continued.

"How about if you try something new? The next time you have a difference of opinion, stick to the subject at hand. That's your homework," Lisa said with a smile.

Tuesday morning

Mac and Harm's house

Finally Matthew slept through the night and Harm actually felt rested when he woke up. He'd set the alarm one hour earlier than he needed to, planning to make breakfast for his family. No one could argue that he wasn't taking Lisa's advice.

After checking in on Matthew, making sure he didn't have a fever and bringing him water in case he'd wake up thirsty he headed for the kitchen to start breakfast preparations.

Mac walked into the kitchen ten minutes later, not looking good.

"You okay?"

"I just threw up," she sat down on a chair and put her head on the table. "I've never felt this terrible in my life."

He felt her forehead. "You're not having a fever. Throat hurt?"

"No, just feeling dizzy and nauseous."

He pulled her to her feet. "Back to bed."

"I'm staying home with Matt anyway," she mumbled and headed back to the bedroom.

Thirty minutes later Harm and Matthew had eaten, and Matthew had gone to the living room to watch cartoons. Harm brought some toast and coffee for Mac. She had to try and eat something.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

Harm changed for work and left the house shortly afterwards. Mac and Matthew spent a quiet day inside, mostly in front of the TV.

Wednesday

JAG Headquarters

Harriet walked into Mac's office with some files and found her leaned back in the chair, looking pale.

"Everything okay, ma'am?" she asked with worry as she put the files on the desk.

"I'm dizzy," Mac took a deep breath. "Maybe I should have stayed at home today."

"Coming down with the same as Matthew?" Harriet assumed.

"I don't have a sore throat or a fever, just dizzy and a little nauseous," Mac shrugged. "I'm sure it'll pass over fast."

"I hope so ma'am," Harriet said with a smile.

"How are you doing Harriet? You're really starting to show," Mac noticed that Harriet had her maternity uniform on.

"Yeah, this pregnancy is so different than when I carried little A.J. I've been having terrible morning sickness, and I'm already showing," Harriet patted her belly.

"You and Bud must be so happy, having a girl this time." Mac reached for the files Harriet had brought for her, but stopped suddenly and froze. Harriet's words came back to her; '...terrible morning sickness.' She dropped the files and reached for her calendar.

"Ma'am, are you okay?" Harriet saw Mac count the weeks and it dawned on her. "Oh my God, you're..."

"Harriet!" Mac warned and stood abruptly. She rounded her desk and closed the office door.

"...pregnant?" Harriet said quietly.

"Don't say a word about this to anyone," Mac smiled warmly. "I need to talk to Harm."

"Of course, ma'am," Harriet promised.

Mac and Harm's house

Later that day

Harm had just finished dinner when he heard the front door open and shut. He heard Matthew yelling; "Mommy!" And that he ran into the hallway.

Harm smiled when he heard both mother and son giggle as they moved further into the house. It was nothing better in life than listening to the sound of his happy family.

"What's cooking?" Mac asked as she entered the kitchen with Matthew in her arms.

Harm walked over to them and kissed his wife. "You're just in time for pasta night."

Mac put Matthew down. "Sounds good."

"Harm put his hand on her forehead. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah." Mac removed her husbands hand from her forehead. "I never had a fever."

"Doesn't hurt to check," he pointed out stubbornly.

Mac smiled sweetly and put his hand on her belly. "There's some good news," she whispered.

Harm looked at her smiling face and then he looked at his hand on her belly. He smiled widely when it dawned on him. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "The Doctor confirmed it today."

"What are you guys whispering about?" Matthew asked.

Harm turned to his son. "I'm just telling mommy how much I love her."

Mac smiled and moved into her husbands embrace. "I love you too."

"Can we eat now?" Matthew asked impatiently.

Harm kissed Mac's head. "Let's eat."

To be continued...


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Ten months later

Mac and Harm were running a little late for their appointment with Lisa. Their baby daughter had been asleep until about a minute before they were leaving the house, and Mac had wanted to feed her herself instead of letting Trish arrange a bottle. Fifteen minutes later than planned they were out the door, and then traffic had made them even later for their appointment.

Despite their lateness Lisa welcomed them with a huge smile and admitted that she'd been worried about them being late.

"I haven't seen you in about eight months. How's the baby?" Lisa asked after they'd sat down.

"She's wonderful," Mac answered proudly.

"Her name is Hannah," Harm said with a sweet smile. "She's an angel."

"Can I just say that you look great, Mac. There's no way I would have guessed that you've recently had a baby if I didn't know about it," Lisa complimented.

"Thank you," Mac said shyly.

"So, how are we doing? You stopped seeing me, so I'm hoping that's because you don't need me any more?" Lisa said with humor.

Harm smiled warmly. "We really don't."

"We just wanted to say thank you for helping us," Mac added.

"Yeah, you've really had me thinking about some things, and I think our relationship is better than ever thanks to that," Harm continued.

"I only offered some friendly advise, you two did the hard work," Lisa said with a warm smile. "I have to admit that unfortunately most people come to see me when it's already too late, and all I can do is help make the divorce easier. It's so refreshing for me to experience a sunshine story every now and then. I'm the one who's really thankful."

"Don't ever stop doing what you do," Mac said.

"You've changed my whole view on therapy," Harm teased.

"I would love to sit here and get some more compliments, but my next appointment is probably waiting," Lisa started to stand. "Promise me that you'll take good care of one another."

Harm and Mac stood as well, and Harm offered his hand. "Thank you."

Mac offered her own hand. "Thank you."

Harm and Mac's house

That same night

Harm finished cleaning up after dinner and headed up to his son's room. He'd promised to help Matthew set up the tent in his room, so that he could pretend to be camping that night. According to Matthew it was his way of training for the real camping trip he would be taking with Harm the next weekend.

"Can I have Teddy with me when we go camping, Daddy?" Matthew asked as he watched his father finish up securing the tent.

"Sure, Teddy can come," Harm said and chuckled. "We can't go camping without him, now can we?"

Matthew held up the teddy bear Teddy, and smiled. "I think Teddy would get real sad then Daddy."

Harm stood. "Okay, do you want the sleeping bag or should we take the mattress and sheets from your bed?"

Matthew looked at his father with his big brown eyes. "Daddy, I have to sleep in my sleeping bag or it won't be a real camping trip."

"Of course, silly me," Harm said with a small laugh. "You go brush your teeth and I'll make everything ready for you. Do you have the flashlight I gave you?"

"It's right here," Matthew said and grabbed the flashlight off his desk. "Will you read me a story Daddy?"

"Sure." Harm ruffled his son's hair.

An hour later Harm walked downstairs and found Mac on the sofa busy with a novel. He sat down beside her and patiently waited for her to finish the chapter.

"So, how's our little camper doing?"

"Sound asleep." Harm put his arm around Mac's shoulders and pulled her close. "How's the baby?"

"Sound asleep." Mac snuggled closer to her husband.

"It's nice with a little quiet time around here," Harm said as he reached for the remote control. "When was the last time we watched TV without being disturbed?"

"Ah.. I have no idea." Mac chuckled. "There was a time when you didn't own a TV at all."

"I remember how I tried to convince you that we didn't need one when we first moved in together." Harm remembered.

Mac laughed. "And now you can't live without it."

"I can't live without you," Harm said with a cute smile.

"That's cute," Mac said as she leaned in and kissed him.

"It's the truth. I love you."

"I love you too."

The End!


End file.
